1. Become more physical
It’s really easy to start feeling drained and weak if you have been leading a lethargic life, take the time to change all of that. Engage yourself in some new sporting activity; go hiking, (with or without your S.O.). If you’re already a very physical person, try to push yourself that much harder; it will really reinforce your self esteem and accomplishments. Your esteem should carry over from your physical activities into the bedroom.
2. Be realistic
If you think that every time you have sex it has to be perfect, think again. Mutual satisfaction is only reported around ½ of the time with couples. If you keep things fun, open-ended, interesting and ‘pressure free’, your lady friend will be much more inclined to repeat the process next time, maybe she’ll even want to do some experimentation as well.
3. Be unconventional
Therapists are in total agreement that it’s ok for people to fulfill their sexual fantasies. Remember though, if you want to get your partner really interested you should include their fantasies as well; check out the large selection of erotic films available. Once you’ve told your partner of your fantasies, make sure you find out about theirs. She might insist that she doesn’t have any sexual fantasies, don’t let her off that easily. You could try to find out what she would like a man to do to her, for example.
4. Learn to enjoy the anticipation leading up to the act
Spur of the moment sex is pretty great, and if we are to believe what we see in movies, that’s the only kind anyone ever has right? The truth is that people with lives grounded in reality simply don’t always have the time to foster chance sexual encounters. A simple solution is to learn to build up anticipation to the actual event by making some loose plans, in the same way you look forward to your favorite TV program. Turn off the phones, lock the doors and make the atmosphere special in any way that you can, she’ll pick up on your desire to ‘make things special’ and may respond in new and exciting ways.
5. Learn to feel your whole body
Most men focus their sexuality solely on their penis, and avoid all other types of physical sensuality and erogenous zones. In terms of gratification, you shouldn’t simply bet all your money on the genitalia, sex is deeper than that. Explore your body; take the time to really get to know yourself. Focus on pleasure, not reaching completion. Slow down and learn to appreciate the moment.
6. Talk to your S.O. about your libido
Though it might not be the easiest thing to do, especially if your partner is angry; you should really take the time to talk to them about your issues. And if you have trouble discussing your specific problems, find a book on the subject and point out the relevant parts. Turn it into a fun activity, make jokes about the content in the book, just be sure to let your partner know that you are still serious about fixing things between the two of you.
7. Have a wild night out
You may simply need something fresh in your life to kick up your personal desires. There are certain social activities that may allow you to see a different side of your partner, dinner engagements for example. Get her all dolled up, and go out. You will most likely rediscover her endearing qualities and reignite the spark.
8. Seek professional help
When all else fails, call the right person for the job (plumber to fix the drain). Don’t worry so much, and learn to ‘get over yourself’ and just get out there and give a specialist a call, it will do you good. You may want to get with a doctor to rule out any medical conditions first. You may be experiencing libido loss from your current prescription medication.